


Listen before I go

by hamillover4life



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Depression, Gen, I Am Sorry, Suicide, Suicide Notes, based off Billie Eilish's new album
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-07 02:16:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18401117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hamillover4life/pseuds/hamillover4life
Summary: “Call my friends and tell them that I love them, and I’ll miss them…” Peter took one last look at the city, then the sky, took a deep breath and exhaled and leaned forward,“sorry.”





	Listen before I go

**Author's Note:**

> This has been an Idea I've had since Billie Eilish's new album came out, but haven't had the time to write it, sadly the only time I actually had free time to write it is when I am really sick in bed and sleep deprived. I am sorry if it don't make sense in some places, cause again I am sick but I really hope you enjoy the story. <3

_ ring...ring….ring...Hello, you’ve reached the phone of Tony stark. I am sorry that I miss you but if you are hearing this right now that means I care about you enough to give you my personal number and I promise I will get back to you. Beep _

“Hey Mr.Stark, its Peter, I just want-” Peter was cut off by the sound of a car screeching below, barely missing each other before driving off. “It's funny isn’t it, one small decision could end your life, you could take a left instead of a right and end up in a car crash, take the elevator instead of the stairs and it breaks and falls…” Peter took a deep breath, “I can see coney island from here...I can still feel the impact of the plane hitting the ground, the heat of the fire. I can still hear the screams of the people who were burned alive when the fire spread. You always say that even though people died, more people would have died if I didn’t stop the plane, doesn't matter. I am still a murderer, no matter what.” Peter looked at the few people walking below, it was 3:37 in the morning in the middle of winter after all, why would anyone be out. 

“I told Karen to take me to the rooftop, I wanna see the world when I stop breathing...turning blue.” peter took a deep breath, he always found the air up higher easier to breath, Tony always disagree says it has less oxygen and is to thin but Peter liked it, made his feel free.

“Tell me loves is endless, don’t be so pretentious leave me, like you do.” he knows it's only a matter of time before Tony leaves too, like everyone else.

“If you need me, wanna see me, better hurry-” Peter chuckled, this almost sounds like he was just moving “-cause I'm leaving soon. Sorry can’t save me now, sorry I don’t know how, sorry, but down…” Peter looked at the ground below him, calling him, beckoning him, “hmm, down.” Peter knew he needed to finish this call, he's been suffering for months now, what's a few more minutes. 

“Taste me, these salty tears on my cheeks-” he took a shaky breath, “that’s what a year long headache does to you…” tears escaped he eyes, “I’m not okay, I feel so scattered.” his sobs echo throughout the allies ways below him.

“Don’t say I’m all the matters-” he prays the tony will move on, cause Tony needs to be there for May when he’s gone, “-leave me,  déjà vu .” peter laid down on the hard concrete, searching the sky for stars. 

Peter remembers when he was four, him, his parents, aunt May, and uncle Ben went to a beach in Florida for the week, it was his birthday present. The were having a campfire out on the sand when Peter saw all the stars in the sky. It was his first time seeing stars, he was so excited, Ben and his dad told him all the constellation names and taught him about how people in the past used them to navigate. Peter was so  _ happy _ . He hasn’t see stars since, maybe one of two at the compound if he is lucky but nothing like when he was on that trip. He didn’t think it was possible but he felt more hot tears running down the sides of his face. Cause the sky was empty, just like him. 

“I-If you n-need me, wanna see me, y-you better hurry cause I’m leaving s-soon.” Peter took a deep breath to try and calm himself, they weren't tears of sadness, they were tears of joy. He was finally leaving. Finally going to be free, “sorry can’t save me now...sorry...sorry I don’t know how, s-sorry there’s no way out-sorry-” the last one came out with a sob, "there was no way...but down...hmm, down.” He sat up, scanning the world around him, 

“Call my friends and tell them that i love them, and I’ll miss them-” he paused “-but I’m not sorry.” he wonders if May will move out of the apartment like we did when Ben died. Maybe she will move into to the tower or compound with Tony. Peter knows she will get over it if she has someone to help her, like Tony, together they will move on and be happy again without the burden of him in there lives. Ned and MJ will be okay, they will have each other, with out him there they can make new friends and not get bullied. Peter got up and stood on the edge of roof, he was 96 stories high, counted himself, he wanted to make sure the fall would kill him. It was surprisingly hard to kill yours if when your DNA does everything in it power to prevent it. He placed the phone down next to him, 

“Call my friends and tell them that I love them, and I’ll miss them…” Peter took one last look at the city, then the sky, took a deep breath and exhaled and leaned forward, 

“ _ sorry.” _

**Author's Note:**

> again I really hoped you enjoyed It, I was thinking of doing Tony's POV while listening to the message or making series out the other songs in her new album. If you like either of the ideas please let me know!! <3


End file.
